Let’s Rebut

BY: JUSEPH ELAS

“Sana may mahulog sa mga fourth years,”

This line speaks much about the unexplainable hatred that bubbled from the juniors. Last October 22, 2010 is the cheerdance competition. And it’s a live show and once it’s a live show, anything, be it good or bad, may happen with a snap.

It’s the juniors turn to perform. Truth-be-told, we don’t hate the juniors, as a matter of fact, we are afraid of them because we know their choreography is good, their stunts were good, there’s no ands, ifs and buts there if I were to phrase it.

At the beginning it was really going well, they were burning up the dance floor. We were just there watching them with scared faces and nervous eyes. When I realized that my squad is somehow being dazzled already by the juniors, I called their attention and lead them outside of the gym to start praying the traditional competition prayer which is the Apostle’s Creed.

Suddenly, the music of the juniors stopped. We were shocked, because we thought they’re already done dancing and we haven’t yet finished the first part of the prayer. But it was then we realized that their music stopped unexpectedly. They were shocked, we were startled and everybody is asking what happened.

Somebody from the music booth said that their CD jammed. So Fr. James, the principal told them to perform again, and again, we continued to pray. But then again, their music stopped again. And nobody knows why?

But here’s the real issue. *and I will not hide my anger anymore* we, the champions don’t know what we did so that the losers schmucks will hate us. I have heard them saying that; we were praying that their music will jam! What the fuck with the third years!

God knows what we were praying and it’s against our conscience to pray something like that! We will never do anything like that! We are not that evil like them! We are just charming angels praying to God to give us guidance while we dance. We are not as demonic as them! God bless their souls.

Another issue is, they said we don’t deserve to win. Weeeeehhhhhh? Really? Why’d you say so? Are you one of the judges?

One of the judges is my classmate’s sister, or cousin. She said that, we are the REAL winners. Grandslam! We did not win because the ugly and ear-splitting music of the juniors jammed while performing! We won because, WE DESERVE TO WIN! Bear in mind that we have followed strictly the guidelines and criteria.

Another is, they are saying that, our cheerdance is not a cheerdance, I’s a speech choir and we are not on the theme. Let me ask you this one, simple. Comprehensible question that even a grade-schooler can answer: what’s the theme for this year’s cheerdance competition?

Yes! That’s right! WE DON’T FOLLOW THEMES FOR CHEERDANCE! Idiots! You have already seen our routine, you have heard our creative, booty-pumping, crystal-clear cheermix, so what else can we show you as a surprise?

With that, we have come up with a very skin-crawling, crowd-pleasing, and attention-dragging entrance. And for your own butts’ sake! It’s just an ENTRANCE! Why do you even care if that’s our entrance? Why? Because we have a casket? Because we used for? Because we have used a chant that gave you the impression that we were praying but the truth is we were just counting using Chinese language? KILL YOURSELVES!

Well anyway, we can never change what has been done! We have already won! WE ARE THE REAL CHAMPIONS! Just accept it! And we are very sorry, because walang nahulog sa mga fourth years! KAYO ANG NAHULOG!