When talking about relationships, I think one piece that I will always be reminded of is Paulo Coelho’s most recent work – Adultery. Graciously, it talks about what builds a good relationship; generally it speaks about where to put your faith in in a relationship. And there is a line that is so striking that, for me, it summarizes the whole point of the book.
Why is Love more important the Faith? Because Faith is merely the road that leads us to the Greater Love.
Nowadays, it’s very easy for us to find love.
Love is when you walk on a dark street but you find her holding your arms because she knows you’ll never leave her. Love is when you hear him whisper the lines of your favorite movie you are watching for the vermillionth time on a Friday night and you fight the giggles inside. Love is when he’ll wait for you at the end of the day just so he can walk you to home. Love is when you had a fight but he waited outside your door even after she yelled at you to leave. Love is song in the silence of the night as you fall asleep. Love is when your parents stayed up talking about the past and how they made it against all odds and kept their vows.
But what happens when love comes to a stop? Can we still hear that song in the silence of the night? Can we still see the guiding light in the dark? Can we still hear those words that kept the fear at bay during a movie night? Can we still talk about the past and write about the future? When love stops, when love is lost, can we still fix it and make as it was before?
I am struggling to understand the nuances that makes a relationship work. If I look into my parents’ relationship, everything seem to be working out well with them. They are the normal couple that goes through a lot but still manages to work things out. When they are served with lemons, they make lemonades. If I look into other types of relationships – those that turned out to be dysfunctional – it spells a different thing. When they are thrown with bread, they start to burn the bread.
The ironic part on this is: watching the developments of these relationships from a third party perspective, we fail see to see the truth. And truth is, these couples’ realities are different with mine. I might not see that my parents might be going through something and that something is not workable – not negotiable – and they might be keeping it from me so as not to destroy the foundation of our family. I might have thought little of other relationships and tagged them as dysfunctional, only to find out that they are okay at the end of the day. More okay than others.
Perhaps these things are part of the changes we have in life. Change is the only constant thing in this world. Even if two people are legitimately in love, there will come a time in their journey that love will depreciate. In the same manner, when two people are poles that never meet, time will bend the rules and they’ll find the connection. Bottomline, there is nothing guaranteeing that they will remain the same.
Perhaps, in this world full of uncertainty, Faith will help us trust again. In this life where change is constant, when Love finds itself at a crossroads, Faith will lead the way. In this journey where we have questions unanswered, Faith will lead us and give us the reasons we thirst for.