You have always liked the safe zones, in the side lines; always watching, always observing. Every day, like clockwork, you see how the world changes from nine to five. Every day, just like clockwork, you feel the never ending need to be different, to belong, to be involved, to be an agent of positive change, to make a move, to stand out, be heard, and be noticed in a way that will make you feel valued. But every day, just like clockwork, you just kept your mouth shut, silence is your companion. You never let anyone in, your thoughts are impregnable.
This is what it means like to be an introverted extrovert. You try take over but you can’t seem to own it, to be in that moment and rule. You have always been like this way, always been the silent warrior. You have always played the game inside your head. You are afraid that your thoughts, when shared, will go unnoticed.That kept you at bay, the fear that you will be devalued. You failed to realize that you are part of a whole, and the whole needs you to be complete. You failed to realize that by shutting yourself out, you’re shutting the possibilities that can come your way.
But the world can’t blame you for that. Growing up, you might have had a modicum amount of support, you never had the chance to voice out your thoughts because almost always you get rejected. In middle school, you tried out to be in the basketball team but people showed you that you are weak and no one showed you how to overcome weakness. You looked for other organizations but everyone made you feel you are self-insufficient. No one cared about helping you which what organizations should have done.
And because of these, you were forced to retreat and lived in a constant state of fear and tension. You became asocial. You’ve built walls around yourself to fortress you from these mundane and earthly pains. Life has become an inner battle of go or nah, never knowing that there’s more to life than rejections.
I want you to know that despite all these, you can still take over. Life will always knock you down, but take it from me. Quitting will end the pain, but it will lead you nowhere. I’ve experienced a lot of rejections and failures in life but it didn’t deter me from moving forward. The future is only best when we look forward. There’s no other way. By doing this, I’ve realized that I’ve become stronger and closer to becoming independent. I’ve learned how to play the game that others were born to be good at. I’ve developed my tactics and now I’m starting to own it. Life will not judge you based on how you fall. It will always be with how you will pick yourself up and dust it off.
To that one person who feels devalued, unheard, rejected, who feels unloved and thinks there’s no place for you in this world, always remember this line: when you want something, claim it. And the universe will conspire for you to achieve it. Being an introvert is not a curse. You can overcome it and make a difference for once.